The movie The Savages is about two siblings (Laura Linney, Philip Seymour Hoffman) who have been estranged from their father for many years. When they receive a call that he can no longer live on his own due to dementia, they are forced to put their lives on hold and deal with the heavy chore of caregiving for a man who once neglected and abused them.

The movie paints a very realistic, albeit depressing, picture of what can happen in such a situation where a parent is failing and siblings must step in and figure out how to care for them. All sorts of questions, thoughts and emotions arise: Where can dad go? What can he/we afford? Feelings of guilt, fear and or anxiety. Difficulties dealing with siblings. Needing to put your life on hold to handle the situation. These are all issues that caregivers – especially those thrown into caregiving overnight must face.

I went into the movie hoping to learn something new about successful caregiving, and thinking I’d be entertained at the same time (movie critics gave it great reviews and touted it as funny and witty). While the movie was well acted – I personally failed to find any humor in it and found it quite depressing. The biggest thing for me is that I didn’t find any of the characters particularly likeable. And, I can’t say that I learned anything much on how to be a better caregiver.

The movie did reinforce for me the belief of how important it is to plan ahead so that you know what your parents wishes are. This will make take some of the burden off an immediate caregiving situation. And it did provide hope that my siblings and I can handle such a situation with a bit more grace than The Savages, and hopefully some humor to help get us through difficult times.

For tips on how to work with siblings in caregiving situations, read an article from FCA or visit the AGIS forum http://forums.agis.com/forum.jspa?forumID=15 to see how other caregivers are handling issues with siblings.

To give your feedback on The Savages, post a comment here, or join the conversation on the AGIS forum.

 

 

 

Filed under: Caregiving, Movies