~ Guest Post by Carol D. O’Dell

Each morning…

I will wake and say “thank you” before I ever get out of bed.

I will not rush out of my bedroom. I will spend some quiet time alone—being grateful and taking care of me first.

I will pray, meditate, sing, journal, stretch—whatever it is that will center me for the day.

I will dress, do my hair, and feel together before I leave my sanctuary.

I will consider buying a hot water/coffee pot for my bedroom or bathroom so that I can have some “comforts” in privacy.

I will leave my bedroom feeling together and having good intentions for my day.

I will not let other people’s emotional “fires” rule my day.

I will say something kind to my loved one to start their day off right. I will touch them—hug, kiss, touch on the hand—something that will connect us.

I will plan my day so that I’m not swept away by emergencies—or drowned by melancholy and monotony.

I will look outside and be grateful for my home and surroundings and know that this is what feeds my spirit.

I will not let other people’s venomous words or attitudes spoil my day.

I will be assertive when I need to be—I will do what’s best for me and my loved one—in that order.

I will use humor every way that I can. I will laugh at the craziness of my situation.

I will—if necessary, go outside and scream, cry, throw a glass and let it break against a wall, beat a pillow with a baseball bat—but I will not let anger build and build. I will use it for change.

I will find small ways to reward myself all day long: a five minute walk, a devotional read, call a friend, or a piece of dark chocolate.

I will teach my loved one and others that my time and attention is valuable and should respected.

I will balance my time and attention and give to my spouse, children, grandchildren, friends—and those who love and support me.

I will accept help. I will say thank you to all the people who show me small acts of kindness.

I will readjust, reassess, and continue to look for solutions. I will not settle for lousy care or lousy relationships.

I will accept my loved one just as they are. I will accept both of us just as we are—and be “okay” with our hurts and idiosyncrasies.

I will turn on music and sing and dance and remember that life is still sweet.

I will not hesitate to speak up if my loved one is not being treated properly. I will demand good care.

I will apologize when I’m short tempered and be quick to kiss and make up.

I will not stop being me—if I’m sarcastic, have dry wit, dark-humored, or loud—I will enjoy my personality and appreciate others.

I will create a structure that is good for everyone. I will insist on quiet time and private time for everyone.

In the Evening…

I will create a bedtime ritual with my loved one that makes them feel safe and loved. I will tell them something to look forward to the next day. I will be kind but firm with bedtime.

I will go to bed at a decent time. I will not fall in bed—I will prepare for sleep just as I prepared for my day.

I will stand in front of the mirror and look at myself and tell myself it was a good day. If there’s something I would have done differently, then I’ll replay it in my thoughts just as I would have done it. And then I will let go.

I will end my day with a heart of gratitude. I have a good heart.

Carol D. O’Dell’s gripping memoir Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir is for the “sandwich” generation and overflows with humor, grace and much needed honesty, and is available on Amazon and in most bookstores.

Carol is a Jacksonville University graduate, creative writing teacher and inspirational speaker and has been featured on CNN, Fox and numerous television and radio programs across the country. Her stories and insights on caregiving, inspiration, spirituality, writing, and Alzheimer’s issues offer hope and purpose. Visit her website at www.mothering-mother.com.

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