A Guest Post by Carol D. O’Dell

If your loved one is keeping you up at night,

then you feel like mush all day.

I know. My mom was notorious for her middle of the night antics. She’d go “pantry shopping,” I called it–and eat the whole box of Cheese-Its — loudly. It would sound like a party at two in the morning.

One morning, about five, I heard this loud “BAM! BAM! BAM!”

I thought some construction guys decided to demolish the wrong house. I got up, walked down the hall toward the noise,which seemed to be coming from my kitchen and there was my mother….

“BAM! BAM! BAM!”

There she was, opening all my kitchen cabinets, going down the line, then going back and SLAMMING each one.

I’m not kidding. It wasn’t funny, so stop snickering.

“BAM!”

“MOTHER! What are you doing!”

She whirled around, startled.

“Well, you wouldn’t get up!” She said, with her hands on her hips.

She even tried, on more than one occasion to crawl in the bed with my husband and me. This scenario is aggravated further if you’re a part of the Sandwich Generation and have kids to get up for school.

At times, it was cute and funny, but cute and funny gets old when the bags under your eyes start looking like the black grease stripes football players use to reflect the sun.

Sundown Syndrome should be changed to Sundown-Party Central.

Some sundowners are simply wide awake. They need less sleep. They’re not that physically active all day. Make them exercise–even if you have to pick up their arms and legs yourself–as if it were physical therapy. Put on music and “move.” Don’t let them nod off all day, espe-cially if you can’t cat-nap with them. Keep them up and active as much as you can.

Some sundowners are bored. Others are aggravated, scared of the dark, lonely. They feel lost. You might, at last resort, consider trying sleeping in the room (or bed) with them. For a few people who are close and can do this, it may simply be that there’s no human touch or warmth in the bed to “hold” them there. After fifty or so years of marriage, they’re used to sleeping with someone. Second alternative, get a big stuffed animal–try that. Try anything.

Make sure you have the proper diagnosis. If your loved one has Alzheimer’s, aggravation and nervous energy are part of it and certain Alzheimer’s medications help with that.

I know some people just say, “put them somewhere.” But what if you can’t? Financially, or you’re not emotionally ready. I understand. It’s not easy to explain to others why we do what we do.

Resources from AGIS.com:

Sundown Syndrome

Coping with Sundowning

Alzheimer’s and Dementia

Carol D. O’Dell’s gripping memoir Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heart-breaking Memoir is for the “sandwich” generation and overflows with humor, grace and much needed honesty, and is available on Amazon and in most bookstores.

Carol is a Jacksonville University graduate, creative writing teacher and inspirational speaker and has been featured on CNN, Fox and numerous television and radio programs across the country. Her stories and insights on caregiving, inspiration, spirituality, writing, and Alzheimer’s issues offer hope and purpose. Visit her website at www.mothering-mother.com.

Filed under: Alzheimer's, Caregiving, Sundown Syndrom